Because of you
by april draconis
Summary: Sonfic. What happens when someone you deeply love leaves you, will you stand your ground, or will you crush underneath the weight?


Lyrics: Kelly Clarkson

Characters J.K.R.

_**I will not make the same mistakes that you did  
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery**_

A young blonde woman walked towards the large window of a mansion. Her pale skin was clad in a green silk dress. Her aristocratic movements let it show that she was of noble blood, more than most people. Looking out of the window, she sighed, remembering what had happened not so long ago…

"_No, father, I will not leave him!". The little words made all Blacks in the room scream. The mother looked away from her daughter, telling herself that Andromeda was just trying to fool them, that she wasn't in love with… a muggle. The father banged his fist on the table next to his chair, claiming that she would not leave the house ever again… The black-haired sister smirked maliciously, letting her wand slip across her throat. Andromeda knew enough, her sister wasn't going to let her do this.. She'd pay sooner or later as would Ted… The young girl looked around, trying to find some comfort in the eyes of her family. But she couldn't find it in any of them. Not even in Narcissa's, whose eyes were firmly focussing on the ground below her. _

Those five little words were still printed upon Narcissa's heart. Her own sister had betrayed her family for… love? She couldn't believe it. Looking out of the window to the grounds below, Narcissa swallowed away the pain that her sister had caused her.

_  
__**I will not break the way you did,  
You fell so hard  
I've learned the hard way  
To never let it get that far**_

Night after night, Narcissa had cried herself to sleep. Andromeda had left the Black Estate and there was no ways she would return ever again… The day of the removal was the worse… The day that Andromeda's name was blown off the tapestry beholding the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

"_Let it be a lesson for all of you.", the shrill voice of Druella Rosier resounded. The entire family was here, as if it was the most normal thing to do. There in Grimauld Place, Narcissa saw flames burning away the name of her sister… Only a few inches away from where the name of her cousin had once been._

Shaking her head, Narcissa tried to force back the memories. She'd cried so many times, but Andromeda had chosen her way and there was nothing to do about it. The tears she had wept were wounds to her soul, though at the same time, she learned from them… 

Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you  
I am afraid

There was only one thing to do for the blonde as she looked out at the lawns before her one last time before crossing the room and seating herself firmly on her bed, resisting the urge to swallow. Not ever could she make the same mistake her former sister had made, 'meda Black did not exist in the world of her family, and to keep the honour where it should be, Andromeda would no longer be the one person she trusted above others. Her own sister had made her colour within the lines, straying she could do no longer. What had been 'meda's choice was now becoming Cissa's downfall.

She got up from her bed again, walked to the vanity table and sat down, her hand moving towards her brush as she slowly moved it through her hair. The mirror reflected the agony in her eyes, dark cringes and an even paler reflection than usually, but this could no longer be. With only a swift swish of her wand her reflection was fair again, yet inside she felt emptier than before. Afraid to break down, afraid that she could never love again. 

I lose my way  
And it's not too long before you point it out  
I cannot cry  
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes  
I'm forced to fake  
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life  
My heart can't possibly break  
When it wasn't even whole to start with

A knock on the door resounded, she got up from the chair covered in green silk and took a deep breath before opening the door. She smiled, a fake one, but nevertheless a smile as her mother stood in the doorway. Druella Black, the woman she loathed so much was looking down upon her daughter with a look of triumph. One daughter had been destined for greatness, the other had been whipped of her mind, and now the only thing that mattered was to get Narcissa engaged to one of those pureblooded aristocrats as soon as possible. Certainly before the news got spread out that the Blacks had lost one daughter.

She followed her mother, head held high, prepared for the evening that was set up for her. Her heart would be given out today, to one person she would probably never trust. Still her head remained up while she walked down the stairs of the Black Ballroom. Chandeliers were everywhere, silver, green and black the main colours for the decoration. A voice announced her arrival, though she was too caught up to register who it was that had spoken her name as she walked straight towards the man she was about to marry. 

I watched you die  
I heard you cry every night in your sleep  
I was so young  
You should have known better than to lean on me  
You never thought of anyone else  
You just saw your pain  
And now I cry in the middle of the night  
For the same damn thing

Silent teardrops she cried as the waltz set in. The face of her fiancé glooming with all the attention he was getting. She was smiling too, a façade to the pain that was within her. Never could she love this man, even though he was wealthy, even though he was pure and refined, even though he was Lucius Malfoy. Her heart had been shattered one to many times. Narcissa Black's life would be a life of luxury, all to make her happy. But truly happy she would never be again, not after the loss… 

Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I try my hardest just to forget everything  
Because of you  
I don't know how to let anyone else in  
Because of you  
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty

Every once in a while you loose somebody that means or meant the world to you, you fall back from the clouds you have lived on, knowing that your happiness was too good to be true. Whether it's your lover, or your sister or just a friend… In the end it'll all lead to the same thing, Narcissa learned. Love is beautiful as long as it lasts, but what happens when it's all over…?

_**  
Because of you  
I am afraid**_


End file.
